There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
