This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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