fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
