Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
