you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
