I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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