I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
