I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
