There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
