Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
