she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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