Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
