I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
