Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
