So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
