I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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