I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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