Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
