just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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