I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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