your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
