Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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