the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
