I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
