also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
cat food counts as protein by the way
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
