I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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