Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
