Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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