it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
