He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
