But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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