Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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