We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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