I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
