Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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