Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize