If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
