Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
did you just send me my own nude
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize