There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
