My cat gives me a boner
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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