Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
