sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize