i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
