Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
