I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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