found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
