i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
how drunk are you?
Several
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize