but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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