Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
