Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
