Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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