is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
