i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
