I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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