my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
