feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
