i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
