why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
