we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
