my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
