i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
