guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
