He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
