I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Even my vagina gasped.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
