you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize