Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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