I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
