so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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