marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
