Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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