You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
