Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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