There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
