I look better un-naked...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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