Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
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I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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