I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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